i woke up feeling sad. Crying. it's four in the morning and i need a hug. I know i sound selfish and egoistic and just whiny, but i miss him. I miss him before he fucking left us all to defend ourselves. I just wish he would come back, i need his physical form here.
i dreamt of him last night. or rather, this morning.
he was wearing his kakis and his brown pants. and i was screaming and crying and kicking. Reduced down to a little kid. He just stood there. i could see him, and hear him, but he only came to hold me after i'd simmered down. and the lyrics of "i wish you would" kept playing.
now that i look at it. it's been exactly two months since he left us. like as of right now.
everyone still talks about him and more so what they should get for him. i'm not over it yet i dont want to go. i want him to come back. it was way too early he didnt deserve it. kidney failure is a thing but you guys didnt even give him a chance.
i just feel like kicking and screaming but everything's been gone and done there's no way he's coming back now. i dont know how i feel about this other than immense sadness and anger and frustration.
now i understand why fragmented thoughts come to you in the middle of the night.
No comments:
Post a Comment